Review of literature should include more development of the major ideas examined in this study.
- opening paragraph is confusing:
- clearly introduce the two larger concepts of flow conditions and phenomenological flow factors => then the short form of C1 – 3 and F1 – 6 can be used.
- conduct a careful edit to address (a) many grammatical errors; (b) awkward sentences (i.e., sentences in lines 31 – 36, 47 – 52, 53 - 60).
- more clarity is needed when discussing concepts and terms such as reference level, absolute magnitude, power law model, etc.
- elaborate on the power law model of learning.
- Lastly, the final two paragraphs seem better suited to the result or discussion sections of the manuscript.
Protocol for physiologic data collecting needs to be outlined in more detail: this protocol may influence subjective flow responses
- Did the participants have a practice session to adapt to the equipment prior to the eight sessions?
- did all sessions include the same conditions (baseline seated rest while staring at the screen).
- Was there a post rest assessment after the completion of the computer game?
- Could physiologic measures alter flow states?