#TrueStory #Relationships #BPD Halloween Night 2013.
I tried to make it work with anolder woman afflicted with Narcisistic Borderline Personality Disorder for 6 1/2 years, being co-parent to her four wonderful very young children (2, 3, 5, and 6 when I joined).
I met her via an online dating service in July 2007 when I was 25. She was the first woman to ever give me the time of day.
She became my first deep kiss, we had sex the very first night I met her, and I turned it into a deep and meaningful relationship inspite of her abuse.
She was the very first woman to ever make me feel like I was a normal human being and not some sort of pariah.
I credit her with saving my life, because I was headed out the door to commit a suicide I had meticulously planned out for months when I saw her response to my email.
The first 6 months I was with her, I was blissfully unaware that she was either married or had children. She never mentioned anything once, and I literally didn’t care. We were having sex and going on dates 3-5x a week.
First time in my life, I was fully accepted physically.
Near Christmas 2007, we were moving into our first apt. She wanted this one in the highrise that cost $300 more per month vs the one on the 2nd floor I wanted. Basically just a little bigger.
The apt manager gave us the keys to her fave and we prepped to camp in it for the night.
At around 10 PM, after a delightful dinner of chicken fried rice together sitting hand in hand on the floor, we started making out in the master bedroom’s huge, and empty, closet.
When we we took a breath, I asked her, “So how much of the $1300 do you think you’ll be paying?”
Next thing I know, my jaw is hurt, my teeth have bit my bottom lip, which is bleeding, and my glasses have been flung off my face.
I am careerning towards the wall of the closet, my shoulder SMASHING up against the shelf + clothing rod.
WHAT THE FUCK!?!? my body screamed!!
That was the first time I was ever emotionally and physically abused by Maria. Right at the end of Month 6.
It wouldn’t be the last. Roughly every 6 months she would injury me physically, about every other year grieviously I have the scars) including the time she slashed my neck because I didn’t wear the clothes she wanted me to waer when we were about to take the kids to my parents’ for Thanksgiving 2008.
I ran down the apartment stairs with blood pouring from my neck, scared out of my mind, collapsing when she tackled me, she being afraid of arrest.
By June 2009, I was a wreck. She had consumed my entire life. She drove my brand new car (dropped me off at work and would be hours late, almsot every day). She used my cell phone as her own. Everything.
I “woke up” in July 2009 and 2 weeks later had moved 300 miles north.
I continued the relationship with her for 2 years that way. I found that if I only saw her two or three times a month on weekends, she was remarkably well-behaved and I could hang up the phone whenever she was abusive to me.
We frequently had sex and it was best time of my life.
In Feb 2011, she convinced me to move back to Houston and I agreed. In no time, the abuse started up in earnest and I found myself checking out. I broke up w/ her for the 3rd time, this time for real.
I stayed in no-contact with her until May 2011 when I regretably saw her email.
I met her at a Subway restaurant to pick up what few of my belongings she still had.
I don’t remember anything that happened after that.
I “woke up” at work one day. It was August 2011. I have no memory of May-August. I asked my family+co-workers & they said I never spoke.
Throughout the rest of 2011 and 2012, I got to raise my 4 ex-stepkids a huge amount of the time, as I had gotten them into a great charter school less than a mile from our place. They lived w/ us except for every other weekend.
I got quite in love w/ them and was thier protector.
She would abuse me in front of them about once a week. I really didn’t like it because I remember seeing my own mom abused growing up (and also receiving myself) but thier dad is a real POS and their mom would abuse them when i’m not there, so I made up my mind to stay 7 more yrs.
This entire time, I kept secretly trying to find another woman who would accept me. Maria even encouraged it at some point. In her more lucid moments, she’d ask me why I put up with it. I’d tell her it’s cuz I loved her, the kids, and she was the only woman to ever accept me.
Near the end, in August 2012, she had a relatively severe psychotic break where while we were on vacation w/ 2 of hte kids.
I was going to live for a month Idaho, she’d go back to Houston.
20 minutes after I woke them up for the 5 AM flight, she got into a full-on rage...
She out of no where started yelling / screaming at me for supposedly NEVER giving her a key to any of the hotels we’d been at on our 3 day trek across the US. I had memories of doing so, but I also know you never argue with Witch Maria.
Next thing I know, she has her fingers...
Next thing I now, she has her fingers tightly wound around my neck, just like Thanksgiving 2008, but with inch long nails, she is DIGGGING into my right cheek....
I FEEL the pain. I FEEL the hotness of my blood gushing out. I SEEEE red flying… I am going black from lack of O2.
I GRAB one of those big fluffy bed pillows and I SLAM it against her upper body! I see her careering off of me, to the floor and then I see our 11 yro step-daughter staring, deer-in-the-headlights mortified.
My 8 yro stepson is cowering in the corner.
I dash to the restroom.
FIVE great big gashes about a 1/2 cm deep are on my right cheek. Looks like Wolverine did a number on me! Blood is still gushing out and I’m trying to stop it with one of those small hotel hand towels.
“MARIA!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!”
Holding the towel to my cheek, I quickly corral the two kids outside the hotel room and we kinda run to the lobby. The police have been called. People awoken by the fight.
The police didn’t believe me. I got put on the ground, handcuffed, marched to a squad car.
The kids are crying.
As I learned being an internet advisor / counselor to thousands of abused men over the years is that we men are like literally never believed when we are grievously injured by our women. I certainly never was.
When she smashed my glass door after I finally left, cops did nothing.
My stepdaughter told the cops about Maria going insane about me supposedly never giving her hotel keys and they found them in her purse.
She didn’t press charges so I was released. I fully planned to break up w/ her forever but I answered her phone call n Sep and came back.
Flash forward to August 2013.
Maria and I had been increasingly fighting again but I had made a consistent effort to win her back. I had arranged a romantic trip to Big Bend National Park in West Texas, one of her favorite spots.
All I needed her to do was take off from work.
Well, the night before the trip, she never came home. One of her mysterious “all nighters” at the office.
By 10 AM I was so concerned, i called her office. They searched and found her car in the parking lot. Police were called. They thought she’d been kidnapped.
Well, she was found when she arrived in the passenger seat of her boss’ car. OK. I had suspected that. I left her and went to Big Bend by myself
She had a huge psychotic break and called me at 6 PM when she found out i wasn’t at home. She literally screamed like an animal. Scary!
She ended up chasing me there that night. I evaded her and managed to slip out of the canyon, went back to the kids and her mom.
I literally had no idea if she was in a Jodi Arias mindset (all the rage back then) or kiss and make up and I didn’t want to risk it isolated!!
Well, Maria never came back from Big Bend.
We didn’t hear from her at all, no one but her boss did, for 3 weeks.
That’s great. I was in zero mood to talk to her.
In fact, it was so far the best three weeks of my entire life!!
The kids and I and their abuela were doing great!
Six full weeks went by. 40+ days. Our new normal and it was WONDERFUL! There was actually happyness and dancing, no one was walking on eggsheels, everyone felt loved and cared for.
We had something great going on!!
I <3 being a dad and it was the best time of my entire life!
On Halloween night, the 2nd youngest (boy, 9) said “I hope Mommy never comes back!” The youngest (boy, 8) said: “Me, too! We haven’t been yelled at in forever!” The eldest son scolded them.
My ex-stepdaughter went, “Hush! You’ll jinx us!”
I was cooking dinner in the kitchen.
No more than 5 minutes later, we all got startled when the front door popped up (we had the security chain on) and their mom looked in: “GUESS WHO!”
Our 8 year-old spontaneously burst into tears and ran into his room while the 9 year-old hid in my office, trembling and spooked.
Their Mom got really angry at the “welcome” and I wouldn’t let her inside. Their dad came over and we all had a talk (without mom there). Her mom, who had been living with me helping tend to the kids, told her to move away and never come back.
She left and went IDK where.
She had a serious Jodi Arias moment with me less than a month later and I decided I had to leave or lose my life.
I wrote the kids individual letters by hand and stuffed them in their pillowcases. The days before, I made sure to prep them mentally :-/ without giving it away.
In the end, she gladly moved a few hundred miles away a month after we broke up when I gave her several thousand dollars and she got a new job.
I had to give up access to the children (stepdads have 0 rights) but I think we all ended up better off.
I think one of the worst moments was in 2012 when 6 yro told me, “Teddy, I never want to get married.”
Why’s that?
“Because I don’t want to be yelled at and hurt like you are.”
His mom audibly gasped from behidn the counter a few feet away. My soul crushed in on itself. He hid
In December 2013, my last month with them, this same beautiful 7yro soul came to me and explaiend he had had a terrible nightmare that he & his brothers & sister were running from a “Monster Mommy Robot” but then he remembered to “Pray to Jesus”...
He did so and an angel came...
He said the angel looked like me, but older, and gave him a flaming sword.
He took the sword and found me tied up and he released me.
Then he told me he and I had found his real mommy in a cage. He said I opened the cage but she wouldn’t come out.
We tried all we could but...
We heard Robot Mommy coming for us and he said that I told him we must both run and leave Good Mommy in the cage cuz she’s too afraid and we have to save ourselves.
HE said he then woke up and felt like things were going to be different but better.
We prayed and he felt better.
Leaving those kids is one of my 2 life regrets.
I should have stayed until Maria killed me.
I feel quite strongly about that in retrospect.
I just hope I get another shot at being a dad, but i understand if it’s not in the cards for me this life.
Anyway, that’s my Halloween Horror Story.
The day the kids mom came back after we had just started hoping she’d be gone forever.
She lived up to her vile threat of keeping me from ever speaking to them again.
That has definitely been worse than any abuse she could have done.
That’s the #1 reason I don’t date moms.
Maria is still the only American woman to ever accept me physically.
I am so thankful I left the USA in 2015 and discovered that women all over the world think I’m more than worthy as a life partner.
I encourage every guy I meet who’s suicidal about this to go to South AMerica.